who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
