Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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