Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
