oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
