did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
