if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
