Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
