I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
