I seem to have left my pride at pride
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think my moral compass just broke
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