The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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