Who wears a wallet chain?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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