we have pet lesbian snakes
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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