Barsexuality is the new black.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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