Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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