he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
