but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
