I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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