do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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