I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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