Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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