before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
