I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
