Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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