What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
