Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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