Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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