He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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