Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
