can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
