You work out of a Hotel?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
