Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
