so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
