Have you finally orgasmed yet?
barbara walters just said penis...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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