are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
