im about as happy as oj after his trial
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
