tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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