don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
