he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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