where does the pee come out of this thing
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
