he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
