Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
