I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
