I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
