Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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