Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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