Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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