Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
