cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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