I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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