sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
